Finding co-assholes

Relationships are complicated, relationships are weird, and every one turns into an asshole when you give a name to the bond that you share with that other person.

Here are anecdotes from my life where a tag ruined it all for me.

1.       My first boyfriend- when I was sixteen years young this guy thought I was pretty and asked me out after 3 months he told me that he loved me I being the romantic actress that I am I told him “u and I forever” the second he heard the word forever he took the next bus to kormangala and I never heard from him.

2.       My second boyfriend- we were having a conversation about why we were broke as fuck and I told him someday when we get “married” we will have a million dollars, he ran away with my gold chain and never came back.

3.       My ex bestfriend- I called her my best friend forever and she ran away with my ex boyfriend’s money.

4.       Teacher in degree- I told her wow “you are my most favorite teacher in the world” she took a year off to get a PHD,by the time she came back I graduated from college.

5.       One short boy- i said “no strings attached” he left the country whilst banging a few women on the way out.

6.       My pet dog- “I love you to the moon and back eva,you are my baby” sister-in-law gave her away

7.       Pluto- wow Pluto you are my favorite planet,somebody asked me to take a seat because Pluto was’nt a planet anymore.

8.       Jesus Christ- you are my savior andddddddddd it was good Friday.

9.       My sister- I love you so much royni and then the Canadian embassy approves her visa.

10.   My brother- I write a blog about how big of an inspiration he is in my life and he moves out of the house.

11.   Pink bow- called her my “yecha magga nigga dude” didn’t show me her face for 4 years.

My life is like watching a stand up comedian performing live, I keep laughing even though I am the butt of all jokes. Some people run away from commitment, it is their fault that they didn’t let you love them,it is their loss not yours,.

Even though I am cynical about relationships there are some people who change your whole perspective about bonds, relationships and all that jazz. some people make you believe in all of this shizz, I have my share of these kind of people, the girl who gift wraps all my sorrow and puts a pink bow on it,the girl with whiskey in one hand and a pencil in the other and sketches all my rain clouds into rainbows,that big sister who sometimes makes me believe that she is pemma in a mini skirt, that brother-in-law who shoots out an email every time I get stuck in life,a brother that tells me I look like an aunty when he cannot say I look pretty,that other brother who comes running when I call him saying I ran out of fuel,my little baby dia who throws things at me while I am asleep, amma who shouts at me and stills give me tea when I come back home late,eva who comes running to  lick my face.

Everyone is an asshole,you just need to find those people who will be co-asshole with you.

Stay stoned until next time,

XO

SHUU