The tribe of fucktards.

DAY#4 100DOB                                                                                            14th-MAY-2014

 Elo ppl tudae ez dae four f nhrd daez f blgn

What the fuck does that even mean you ask? It is the official language of the tribe of fucktards, yes the tribe of fucktards.  It is called fuckerish. Before I start ranting let me help you decipher line one of this post “hello people today is day four of one hundred days of blogging”. If you figured that out as soon as you read it, that means you have firsthand experience dealing with fucktards.

It all started with sms which I totally understand because you couldn’t exceed a certain number of characters while sending a message, therefore you had to use a few shortforms, BRB,GTG,TTYL,FMN,FML,FTW,WTF and so on and so forth, but now we have phones that can even microwave popcorn, maybe not yet but you know we will get there someday.

It is ok to use abbreviations we have been using them all our lives ISRO,NASA,IBM,SAP etc, even etc is an abbreviation for christ’s sake. But a few of the fucktards have taken it too far, em so efn tird f dez ppl, how can you abbreviate every single fucking word? Do you know how difficult it is to figure out what you are saying? There is no crash course to learn fuckerish.

But fret not, i am here to help you learn this wretched language because you never know when god will curse you with a meeting with a fucktard,

The dummy’s handbook of fuckerish.

Lesson 1- how to spot a fucktard.

Spotting a fucktard is the easiest, just send a text message to the suspect saying “hi”, if you get “hieeeee or elo” as the reply , you have successfully identified a fucktard.

Lesson 2- words and what they mean

 Ø  f- of, you know because ain’t nobody got time to type 2 letters.

 Ø  K whatevz- please think I am cool.

 Ø  Kewl- because cool is not kewl.

 Ø  Happie- I am a happy hippie-not. 

 Ø  Mondae,tuesdae……sundae- I was AWOL when they taught the days of the week.

 Ø  M- it means me or maybe my or mourning myrtle, you will never know.

 Ø  Yo- it means typing an extra letter is too mainstream.

 Ø  Iz,dat,dey,knw- where is the bloody pistol?

 Ø  I lv eeeww JJJJ- I love disgusting things, eeew stiny feet<3 ,eeew dirty socks, eeeeew poo

 Ø  Smyl- I broke my head for five long minutes to figure out what that meant…I thought it was “so my yak lied” and then realized it meant smile J I was not smiling.

 Ø  Pweez pwedie pweez- please kill yourself. 

 Ø  Awesyum threesum foursum dimsum and everything else fucktards use- mean only one thing” em dyna b kewl bud”. Oh fuck you bud.

Lesson 3-you have mastered fuckerish

There is only one thing left to do now, buy a pistol and get a license to use it.

If everyone is going to type like this I will go one step higher

Everyone who types like this please stop, do not go backwards in evolution if you cannot go forward.

 stay stoned until next time.

Xo-

shuu